Atomic Blonde Review

So I just watched Atomic Blonde. A movie made for everyone who thought Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy needed more Depeche Mode.

It took me a while to figure out what was wrong with this movie. Then I realized that this movie was ruined in editing and marketing. I am convinced that the movie released was not the movie intended by the director and cast.

I think that this movie was filmed and directed as a tense espionage thriller that was turned into a “fun” action romp by the studio. The problem is that all the light hearted elements don’t fit what’s happening in the plot or with the characters. There are three big things that don’t fit with the movie.

First the title Atomic Blonde. Atomic Blonde makes me think this movie is going to be about a slick and sassy super spy. That’s not the case. Charlize Theron’s character spends half the movie bloodied and bruised from intense gritty action sequences and the other half angrily spouting exposition. Surprisingly joyless for a movie called Atomic Blonde.

Second, the spray paint style opening credits and location titles. The opening credits are displayed in a bright colorful spray paint font that appears throughout the movie to tell the audience where the scene takes place. The problem is the rest of the movie is entirely grey and colorless. There are no bright lights or colorful clothes, even the titular blonde hair is drab and lifeless.

Finally the biggest offender is the soundtrack. Almost every scene in the movie is drowned by a loud 80s pop song. They keep trying to make it seem like it belongs by alternating the quality to make it seem diegetic and then switching to non diegetic when the camera changes. For example when a car pulls up it will sound like the song is coming from the car radio, but then the camera will cut and the song will just be playing over the action. It’s done in such a way that it seems like a stylistic choice, but I would bet that every time except maybe once it was added after the fact. And the music never fits. I never thought I’d see a more ham fisted soundtrack than Suicide Squad, but here we are. The movie is so serious in its action and dialogue that its very jarring to hear these bouncy 80s songs play over top. It really speaks volumes that the best scene in the movie is a long single take fight scene where there’s no music.

I think somewhere in Atomic Blonde is a decent spy thriller that didn’t do well with test audiences. I have no proof of that, but that’s what I think. Unfortunately I have to judge what came out, not what could have been. With that in mind I have to give Atomic Blonde 33 out of 99 luftballons.